The times are changing. It’s a cliché, yet undeniably true.
I’ve found that being a hardworking woman has its downsides. I am seemingly always short on time, money, and attention. This can present some difficulty when dating, especially since I am only in my 20s. I love working. I love my jobs and I love the career I am trying to break into. In a man, I have to find someone who respects me and my goals as well as understanding my lack of time and energy.
The social construct of marriage and relationships has stayed relatively the same until now. With a new generation of working class and ideals brought about by “millennials,” relationships and standards of marriage have drastically altered in the favor of the woman spouse. Even though it is still uncommon to hear about “Stay-at-home Dads,” mothers and women are working harder and smarter.
My own mother warns me about finding a man who will financially support me and take care of me until I grow old. As much as I appreciate her support and care, I am too independent to want to be “taken care of.” I want to be the one who grocery shops, pays bills, plans vacations and makes financial decisions. That, in my eyes is power. I want to be a powerful woman and I will not let anyone try to take my hard work away from me.
That being said, I am sometimes afraid that people will be disappointed in me for not chasing after that lawyer/doctor/millionaire. Although it may sound alternative, I would prefer to have someone be there for me when I come home from working a ten hour day. I would rather have a companion who supports me and is there for me.
I’m not saying I want a “trophy husband.” After all it is still a popular belief and wish for women to stay at home and not work. That is still considered the female American dream; to find a man with money and build your family. It may sound like a dream to some girls, but for me, I wouldn’t trade my career for anyone.
My dream is to have a stay at home father for my future children. When and if I decide to become a mother, I want them to view their mother as someone who can do anything, even rise above society’s expectations. I want them to look at their father as being a loving guardian who supports his wife and her aspirations.
I think for the time being I’m pretty lucky with the man I am currently dating. He understands the perspective and he knows what I want. He says he will always be there for me and that is what is important to me right now. We take it a day at a time but I am happy I have found the one who isn’t afraid of the future and is open to change. It will be some time before we make any plans about our future life as a (one day hopefully) married couple, but I look forward to that day with confidence.
