Remember playing the game “He loves me, he loves me not” while picking one petal off the daisy for each phrase to validate the affection of another? Valentines Day gives us a special day for the whimsical fun of LOVE with sugar hearts carrying secrets messages.
This designated day dedicated to the celebration and expression of LOVE provides us with a time to reflect on our love for others and especially love for ourselves.
Some might consider loving yourself, “love me”, selfish. The word “selfish” suffers from a bad rap. But I would challenge you to think otherwise. Be selfish with your time, your energy and your concern. Learn to love yourself first, and then you will have something special to share with others.
As I was growing up the “golden rule” of treating others the way that I would like to be treated entrenched in my mind. “Love your neighbor as yourself” served as the basis for most of my decisions. Always, others first. In reality, I didn’t have too many decisions to be made, but when I did get a chance to make a choice, taking care of others motivated my options.
Not wanting be considered selfish, I put my own personal wants and sometimes needs, on the back burner. My decision making process was stifled with others’ wishes, others’ happiness, and others’ needs topping my “to do list”.
I now ask myself, as Dr. Phil would pry: “Now how’s that working for you?” Admittedly, it did not work for this “guilt sponge”. I missed the ”everything in moderation” class in school taking the idea of caring for others as a mark of “loving your neighbor” to the expense of losing myself.
Now I would ascribe to a reverse in the old adage. I think that we should all love ourselves as well as we love our neighbor. Be greedy with your time – limit the energy spent on email, texts, and phone calls. Take care of yourself, not just an occasional message, but carve out daily time for exercise, meditation, or whatever feeds your physical and emotional health. Know you have choices and do not have to rationalize them to others– only you are responsible for yourself. Keep an eye on your circle of “friends”. Certain relationships can drain the energy right out your very being. Clean out the psychic “junk drawer”.
Remember the flight attendants admonition: If the aircraft loses altitude the oxygen masks will come down: PUT YOUR OWN MASK ON FIRST AND THEN TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN!
Remember you DO have a choice…Love me or love me not.
So when the game of life asks love me or love me not…don’t be fearful of choosing “Love me”.
February Challenge: Do something each day just for yourself. Learn the art of self-love.
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