Separation Anxiety

Separation Anxiety can occur before the age of one year. It is a normal part of development when a child is separated from their parent or Caregiver. Some of the signs of Separation Anxiety are temper tantrums, crying, and being clingy. Babies and children reach out to hold onto a parent that is with them on an ongoing basis and may become frighten by a stranger or new person that they do not have a close relationship with. Having a consistent babysitter or caregiver which the child has an attachment to is vital. Starting a new sitter early in their development or a relative can help with this transition.

Temperament can play an important role when a preschooler goes to school or daycare. If a baby is inherently shy, then the child will need extra time, patience, support, and help to separate from the parent. The school may need to work one on one with the parent, teacher, and administration to ease the child. If the problem continues, a professional may be helpful to talk to.

Some of the common causes of Separation Anxiety in children may be related to Stress in the home, loss of a loved one, pet dying, moving to a new home or new school, or a divorce.

Sometimes over protective parents that have their own anxiety can feed of one another and this can make matters more difficult when saying goodbye. Some children will worry that mom or dad may not come back and they are afraid to be alone. Some may feel that a parent will get sick or hurt and that creates worry. Select children even have bad dreams about losing their parent.

Tips and Strategies

Leave your child for brief periods of time with a babysitter so that you can practice separating from one another. Make sure the sitter or teacher is good with your child and is warm, loving, and caring.

Remember to have your child fed and take naps before taking them to a daycare, school, or a sitter’s home.

It is important to have the same ritual of saying goodbye each time, such as a goodbye kiss, hug, or a wave.

Have your child bring a familiar toy, or object to school or the daycare that they already feel attached to.

If you keep stalling or hanging around after you say goodbye, it will make it worse. Leave right away.

The night before do not allow your child to reach a scary book, watch a scary show or movie. Make sure it is a happy story with a happy ending.

Have the morning breakfast be a relaxing time and not stressful. Talk about what they are going to do, play with, or activities for their program. Reassure them that you will pick them up and what you will do after school.

Let them share their feelings with you and be a good listener by supporting them if a friend hurt their feelings, or a child took a toy, or someone hurt them on the playground.

I hope some of these ideas and tips will help you with your child.