I’M IN A MARRIAGE FILLED WITH DISTANCE…I LOVE IT!

I recently met a few women who have rather “untraditional” marriages. The first woman I met is very much in love but her and her husband have chosen a relationship filled with distance. After talking to her I began to see the benefits of these certain types of relationships. Open marriages, long distance relationships, and all of the different types of relationships that go against the social norms… I am definitely a fan!

Our relationship isn’t what you would actually call “open.” We are married and only have an interest in seeing one another. But, we live different lives and live in separate homes. We are “dating” but we are married. When I tell people this they are shocked and concerned. This is nothing new, we have lived like this ever since we got married 10 years ago. My husband lives 5 minutes from my condo with his dog. Sometimes I stay over there for a while, sometimes he stays with me, but most of the time we stay in our own homes.

There is no big secret that we are hiding. The reason we do this is because we like our own lives and we believe that dating keeps our relationship fresh and fun.

Deborah Anapol Ph.D. posted an article in Psychology Today that explained why open marriages can actually work. She wrote, “Open marriage is not for everyone. Neither is monogamy.” This quote is a framework for these open relationships. Monogamy is hard, even if you have met your one true soulmate. Not everyone can do it. It’s quick to judge those who choose these types of lifestyles…but why? The next woman I interviewed believes that her open marriage was one of the best choices she’s ever made…

The reason my husband and I have an open marriage isn’t really anyone’s business but our own. We both agreed that we loved each other but that monogamy was an unrealistic idea. I wouldn’t want to force my lifestyle onto any other relationship because I think it’s important to do what you are comfortable with. My husband and I were married for 5 years before we decided to partake in an open relationship. No, he didn’t cheat on me and no, I didn’t cheat on him! We both felt as if our relationship was getting a bit boring and we didn’t want to become those couples who end up stagnant and eventually despising one another. We researched information on the topic and followed certain rules and guidelines. Honestly, I feel like the trust I have for my husband has grown ever since we began an open marriage 3 years ago. 

These relationships can work! It’s all completely dependent on the people within the relationship. What I can say is that “distance makes the heart grow stronger.” Maybe these people are onto something…