WHAT ABOUT AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE?

What is an arranged marriage? In the past it used to be a third party (usually a parent) choosing the bride and groom. The marriage was planned, maybe even since birth. It’s a controversial idea because the bride and groom don’t usually have a choice in the matter. Their parents are making the decision on their behalf leaving many to wonder if having your marriage arranged is a bad idea?

Marriage. What’s going on nowadays? It seems like marriage has become nothing but a frivolous act, something people do because they feel “it’s time.” Because of this the divorce rate has sky rocketed. Forty one percent of first marriages end in divorce, 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce, and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

Wow! Maybe we should try something different.

Let’s first take a look at how people meet each other. Many couples meet in college or perhaps are the envied high school sweethearts. It’s possible that you met your future spouse while partaking in the bar scene, or possibly even while working out at the gym. Have you ever dated someone you worked with? Did your happily “taken” friend set you up with someone she believed would be absolutely perfect for you? Almost 40 percent of people between the ages of 18 and 34 say they met their future spouse through mutual friends. Could this not be considered a form of an arranged marriage?

Or maybe you’re on one of the many dating sites, and had to share information about yourself in order for the site to match you with people you would potentially date and maybe even marry. Is this too not a form of an arranged marriage?

It seems today’s version of an arranged marriage is the pairing of two people done by others who truly care about the couple. A dating site, your best friend, or your co-worker are all people who feel they know you enough to help you find your future partner. Arranged marriages are happening all the time if we really think about it. The only difference is before you marry the person you may date them first instead of meeting them a couple of hours before saying “I do.”  You get to know them and they get to know you before making any future decisions. But is that necessarily the best way?

“Married at First Sight” is a show that airs on the FYI Network. The show revolves around a social experiment where experts in various fields pair two people together who meet for the first time at the alter. Experts pair couples based off of more than just what they like to do in their free time. They factor in childhood upbringing, religion, sex, and family dynamics. Factors that couples usually do not communicate about until well into their relationship.

The couples marry complete strangers and after several weeks decide whether they will remain married or get divorced. The premise of the show is surrounded by the idea that because the couples are already married they will be more inclined to work through the little things that are easy to walk away from when you’re only dating someone. Yet it also puts a great deal of hope into the experts, and into what marriage really is suppose to be about. And because the pressure of marriage is off the table, they just have to work on making the marriage last. Easy enough, right? How couldn’t they make the marriage last with someone who is perfectly compatible with them? It leads me to wonder how compatible can two people really be?

Ella Jameson, from Elite Daily, wrote “we all know the phrase ‘opposites attract,’ and most of us can probably think of a few examples.” Can you think of someone you dated who was very different from you? Did the relationship work? It seems as if the conventional steps of getting married are not working for everyone.

So, what do you do? I say why not let the people who know you the best pick your future partner! I believe compatibility plays a huge role in making any kind of relationship work. What do you think?